Die Another Day

Just got back from the oncologist. I won’t screw around. The news was great. The stuff they are seeing in my chest has not changed in size and is probably not tied to the cancer. There have been no new growths either.

This is not the end for me, I will need scans every three months for a while. But, it is the end of the beginning. Step one in this process was to get the tumor out (they were not even sure they were going to be able to do that). Step two was to get resolution on the stuff that was showing on my CT scans. That has now probably happened (nothing is ever for sure with this stuff). Some day I would like someone to explain the ill defined mass sitting between my aorta and esophagus that magically disappeared in September, but I am not complaining now. Friging radiologists. I’ll bet the first one just screwed up. Step three is to check for recurrence. That will still be nerve racking. My doctor says we need to be vigilant for another year and half. And, since there is no effective adjuvant therapy, all we can do is watch. But, this is a whole different risk profile than actual metastasis.

I have gone from take advantage of this time to get your affairs in order, to we can’t tell you what is going on, to there is no evidence of it in your body. I feel numb. What a ride.